We all know that good communication leads to stronger relationships, but there are some topics that are common stumbling blocks for couples. If you tend to avoid talking to your spouse or partner about money, you’re not alone. However, these conversations are important. Avoidance can often lead to arguments, overspending, underfunded savings accounts, and more. In fact, it’s difficult to maintain good financial health if you don’t talk about money together.

It’s not just your bank account that suffers when you fail to communicate about finances either. Study after study has shown that couples who fight about money have a higher incidence of divorce. So, learning to have conversations about your finances in a calm and respectful way is critical for your financial wellness and for the health of your relationship.

If you’re struggling to have money discussions as a couple – especially the valuable and effective kind – read on for five tips you can use to improve the conversation.

Tip #1: Plan a Money Date

Your most productive money conversations will be those that are scheduled in advance. This gives you both time to get into the right frame of mind and to think about topics you’d like to cover. Your “money date” doesn’t have to be a solemn occasion, however. Make it something fun, so that you’re both looking forward to it instead of viewing it as another chore on the to-do list. For instance, you could go out for coffee at your favorite café and bring along your laptop to take notes. The most important thing is to try to limit distractions like buzzing smartphones or bickering kids.

Tip #2: Frame the Conversation in a Positive Light

While it’s good to be honest and direct when communicating about financial matters, be mindful of the language you use when you propose your money date to your partner. For example, starting with something like, “We need to talk” is likely to make them immediately assume something is wrong. Instead, consider something like this:

I’m excited to put our heads together about some of our long-term goals. Can we set a date to spend some time together and chat about finances?

You can cover the same topics no matter how you start the conversation but think about how differently you might both approach things if the conversation is framed positively from the outset.